Morning build up for my 4th gig

I did my usual thing of being calm all week, thinking I had plenty of time to practice and tweak the material, and all of a sudden it was Sunday morning and I was in a panic! I had completely lost all confidence in my latest material.

The main concern was that no one had heard my new Selfie material. Laura had said that: ‘Some of my stuff wouldn’t go down well with the women in the audience’. Christ that’s the last thing I needed to hear! Confidence was now happily pouring out of me.

As usual I had too much material and none of it felt as exciting as I originally thought. Shit I needed to cut it down, and quick! I’d promised myself I would try new material tonight, but the feeling to play safe and do old material was creeping into the back of my head.

It didn’t help that Wales were playing England in the 6 Nations at 2pm today. It was an important game as being Welsh I really wanted Wales to hammer England. (Sadly they didn’t. In fact England happy pulled down Wales’ pants and gave them the spanking they deserved!)

What also didn’t help was the never ending ‘to do list’ Laura had given me to complete that Sunday, before I would be jumping on a flight at 8am the next morning to Les Gets for a week of snowboarding… nice. Laura was already there… double nice.

I thought I’d put a countdown on my phone to the gig start time to help me focus… bad idea! It just sent me into panic every time I look at it.

I practiced my material about 10 times, got it down to about 5mins, though I kept saying bloody ‘facie!’ instead of ‘selfie!’ which is the opening punchline. Christ if I get this part wrong I am going to seriously cock up the most important gig of my life (OK it’s the most important out of the 4 gigs!)

Beep! Beep! Beep! Shit what the hell’s that noise!

I’m out of time, I have to go! I grabbed my stuff and left the flat.

The best thing about gigs on a Sunday is that you have to play Russian Roulette with the tube lines. Never knowing which ones are completely shut down and which are only running at 50%. Luckily I managed to get a line that worked — wow my luck was clearly in — tonight was going to be a good one.

Dan Tambling is a stand-up comedian, sketch comedy writer, actor and producer of ‘12 sketches in a London house’. This is his blog.

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