One which, even though you have ignored or put off for all these years due to the need to be a grown-up and get that all important grown-up job, is still there niggling away at you. Perhaps you have managed to repress it with your inner critic, who kept reminding you that it’s not for you; dreaming is for fools.
Though we can’t help thinking there is something missing, no one knows apart from you, something burning away down there, desperate to explode out of your controlled exterior.
What would happen if you didn’t do the grown-up job, what would happen if you did the fun job, the thing that excited you all those years ago and still does? The thing you have always wanted to do, if only you could just take that leap.
I remember the day it all changed so clearly, as I walked back to my desk from the meeting room where I had just had my annual review. My boss had mentioned that a partnership was on the cards. I had made it, everything I had worked for, for 10 years, was in the palm of my hand. At that very moment a feeling of panic gripped me. This isn’t me, I don’t want to sit in an office for the next 30 years and then retire. I have to get out of here.
As I walked home that day, all I could hear was an excited voice inside me saying “Come on, forget about all this serious stuff, remember the days when it was just about playing. Come on let’s go play”.
Since moving to London, I had forgotten all about what I loved the most, and that was making people laugh. That’s what I wanted to do. I didn’t want to sit in an office, I wanted excitement and drama, I wanted to entertain and make people laugh.
Is this allowed?
I checked with my inner critic who told me this was a terrible idea!
But you know what they say ‘It’s better to live like a lion for one day, than a sheep for your entire life’.
Come on, let’s play.